Significant losses: sometimes they lead to exciting success stories

Shirit Ben Israel

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Life is a sequence of necessary losses and fateful concessions. I learned this from the writer Judith Viorst when I was still a teenager when I read her eternal book – “Necessary Losses.”

According to Viorst, the losses we lose during our lives, and the concessions we make on people, on illusions, on an ideal self-image, and on the hope that we will live forever – all of these shape us and largely determine who we will grow to be and how we will live our daily lives. But precisely because of the losses and the fateful choices in concessions we make during our lives, we grow to be the wonderful people we are.

I read the book, but the five outstanding women in the article experienced firsthand the severe losses that Viorst talked about in her book and followed them, consciously and unconsciously, making fateful concessions that shaped their lives.

The meeting point between us gave birth to their outstanding inspirational lectures, which today move and influence so many people.

 

Gali Twizer

When you are a young girl, and your life undergoes changes that destroy your security in the family unit, the naive and infinite trust you had in the people close to you, and the inner peace in which you as a child are supposed to live, how will you deal with changes in your life?

Gali Tweezer was a young girl when her father took a suitcase, put the winning money in the lottery, and disappeared from her and the family’s lives. Throughout half of her life, Gali lived in fear of any change, especially one that touched her money and security. Obviously… after all, every thought about change directly touched the exposed nerve and immediately created fear and internal resistance to change.

But Gali, thanks to a series of concessions and fateful choices (in studies, relationships, financial management, and career), not only overcame the fear of change but turned it into a driving tool in her life and herself – an expert in creating change. And we we won.

To Gail’s full story >>

 

Vardit Shimshon

How do you deal with parents who “gave up” on you for an aunt with no children? For 45 years, Vardit repressed the memory: she is five years old, and her mother accompanies her to the airport and connects her with her aunt, who came from Mercy. And that’s it. End of discussion. How do you overcome the feeling that your parent gave up on you? Vardit unconsciously chose repression. At the same time, she decided to take care of children that the education system had given up on for reasons of inadequacy.

How do you give up on parents who gave up on you to grow up to be who you always wanted and could be?

When Vardit stood for the first time on stage in front of 400 people and looked directly into the audience, her parents sat in one of the first rows. She smiled and looked confident even though deep down, she was trembling with fear… She looked at the audience and said: “Despaired? Do you want to give up? Give up? Stop! Don’t give up, even if it’s hard for you. Trust me, I know the price because I, once, give up!”

Vardit gave up the anger, the sadness, and the reckoning with those who once, with no bad intention, gave up on her. And all so that today, you can help desperate parents who are ready to “give up” to the institutional education system that wants to transfer their children to special education just because it’s difficult for them.

To Vardit’s full story >>

 

Sari& Idit

No matter where you grew up, in which city, neighborhood, or family, it is likely that the messages of your parents, teachers, the movies and books you read directed you to the familiar model of man – woman – children is a family. Sherri and Idit also grew up with the same messages, and when they grew up, they followed the path they marked: marriage, children, and family.

Alongside all this were loyal companies for years. Each of them lived their lives, which were not bad at all, but in those lives, you lose one of the most important things to you – love.

It took many years, but the divine call came out spontaneously and pointed the way for them. At that moment, both gave up the fantasy of a stereotyped family for what was important to them: love.

And of course, there was a lecture, and there was also a wedding, and since then, like in fairy tales, they live happily ever after, to this very day, and prove to all of us that fateful concessions sometimes bring great happiness.

To Sari & Idit’s full story >>

 

Simona Mory

She had a house, a partner, and children. From the outside, everything looks pretty reasonable. But she knew that a long time ago, she lost both herself and the freedom she was supposed to have because of choosing to live alongside a violent man.

She did not give up and did everything to get out: complaints to the police, lawsuits, and a request for protection from welfare, but nothing helped her.

In one brutal moment, she had to lose the pretend freedom she had outside to gain absolute freedom many years later. Simona Mori spent 22 years in prison. But today, she is a free woman who talks about choices, decisions, and prices in life.

To Simona’s full story >>

 

And last, unique and exciting – Mali Peleg

How can you give up on the teachers who were supposed to protect you and ran away in the face of the first shot? And how could a young girl of about 17 fulfill her dream of dancing after being hit by 14 bullets in a terrorist attack and having undergone 14 surgeries and years of hospitalization?

Mali Peleg lost an essential part of her childhood, innocence, and trust in people, and also lost the complete and perfect body image that every girl and young woman longs for.

Mali, like Vardit, was also silent for 45 years. In the secret of her heart, she knew that everything she lost and everything that happened was neither her fault nor her responsibility, but from here to recovery, the road was long.

Shortly before the coronavirus, when I saw on Facebook a photo of Mali with the dance troupe she was a part of, standing on a stage in Dubai wearing belly dancer clothes and smiling from ear to ear, I knew that Mali had given up the remnants of shame, and guilt, and all the emotions that had accompanied her over the years since the terrible massacre in Maalot at 1974.

And today, who but a woman like Mali, (lawyer and marriage therapist) who suffered critical losses and made fateful concessions can help people who experienced losses that broke and disintegrated them to give up the slot of the injured victim for a beautiful life of growth and fulfillment?!

To Mali’s full story >>

 

How do you overcome the loss?

Here are six steps that the Fantastic Five took, each in their unique style, to deal with the simple losses and concessions they experienced in their lives:

  • Acknowledge and accept the past: they understood that it is crucial to acknowledge and accept what happened in the past. It can help you understand why you developed fears, shame, and barriers and begin healing.
  • Support: they got help from good friends, family members, professional therapists, and support groups. Today, we know that a sound support system provides guidance, encouragement, and a safe space to express feelings.
  • They adopted the new situation gradually: after a complex loss, it is recommended to start making small life changes and slowly progress to bigger ones. Small steps help build confidence in our ability and help us adapt to new circumstances.
  • Challenge negative thoughts: We often develop negative thoughts and beliefs after a loss or a problematic renunciation. Therefore, challenging and replacing these thoughts with more positivity and empowerment is essential. By focusing on what we want to achieve, we can channel the fear of change into motivation for personal growth.
  • Practice self-care: taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally is essential for personal well-being. It can be practicing mindfulness or meditation and maintaining a healthy lifestyle; anything that can help us navigate change more effectively is welcome.

 

In conclusion,

The stories of these five incredible women serve as a testament to the power of embracing necessary losses and fateful sacrifices. Each of them faced their unique challenges and experienced deep losses along the way. However, instead of allowing these losses to define them, they consciously chose to turn them into catalysts for growth and inspiration.

Through their stories, we witness the immense strength and resilience within the human spirit. They teach us that not the difficulties we face determine our destiny but how we react to them. In the face of adversity, we can make fateful concessions that shape our lives for the better.

The stories remind us that although life presents challenges and losses, our choices and concessions define our path. I hope that you, like me, were inspired by their courage and resilience and that their stories will serve as a constant reminder that even in the face of adversity, we have the power to change our lives and become the wonderful people we can be.

Did the stories inspire you? Remember, everyone has an untold story. Maybe it’s time to share yours!

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Shirit Ben-Israel

As a storytelling consultant, I specialize in crafting compelling content for businesses. My areas of expertise include delivering impactful Ted talks, creating effective business storytelling, and developing persuasive marketing presentations.
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